Who I am Hates Who I've Been
by N. Halifax
Summary: Casey is depressed after her husband leaves her and it's up to Olivia and Casey's older brother to help her. Olivia and Nicholas Novak are also busy playing a flirting game as they help Casey realize she's not weak like her husband tells her. Short story.
1. Brotherly Love

Only slits of light came in from the blinds that were closed. Even that much light was unwelcome in the silent room. Clothes were everywhere on the floor and the room was uncleaned for a month. 

A month since he left her. The love of her life. Her husband. A month of her depression. A month that caused her to take leave from work.

Casey Novak wasn't worth anything without him. She was simply depressed. She was nothing but good to him but she still felt like it was her fault. It was her fault that he filed for divorce. It was her fault he found another woman.

She played that night over and over in her head every day for a month. He asked for a divorce and that night he brought his new girl home and kicked Casey out. Of course she had nowhere to go since he kicked her out of her own house.

Casey wasn't going to tell anyone at work about what happened. Even Olivia Benson, her best friend. She went to her older brothers house since he was still deployed in the mid-east since he was in the military.

Olivia was the only one that knew about what happened. She never liked Casey's husband but she wasn't going to criticize him in front of her best friend. She always saw the evil in that man.

Chad Richards was driven by money and power. He was a powerful stockbroker that was loaded with money. He only cared about himself and his wealth. He didn't treat his wife the way she should be treated.

Olivia parked her car in front of the house she knew Casey was in. She offered so many times that she could stay in her house but Casey refused every time. She wanted the comfort of her brother's house. Her best friend since she could walk.

Nicholas Novak was one of a kind. He was never short of a joke or short of a hug when someone needed it. His baby sister was all that mattered and who messed with her had a rude awakening in for them. He was strong and always thought Casey to be that way. Little did he know that Chad didn't like his women strong and independent.

Olivia started to go to the house to check on Casey like she did everyday after work.

"Hey trespasser"

She jumped to the voice and turned around. She smiled a little seeing Casey's older brother standing there. He had all muscle on his body and his hair was a buzz cut. His baby blue eyes full of joy to finally be back home. Little did he know his whole world was going to come crashing down when he saw his depressed sister.

Olivia smiled a little and took him in a hug. She knew him well. He spent everyday with Casey and soon began to be one of Olivia's best friends. "Welcome home" She knew full well that Nick had a crush on her but he never got the courage to ask her out so they left it at the flirting.

"Good to be home" He let her go and looked weirdly at her. "Why are you at my house?"

"Oh…um…Casey and Chad broke up and I came to check on her."

"She's been here? I thought you were a good friend Ms. Benson," He teased with a small smile.

Olivia didn't smile back like she always did at his cute smile. She knew it would crush Nick to know how depressed Casey was. "She's…depressed. She wanted to be in your house."

"When did it end?"

"A month ago"

"A month ago?" He asked in a louder voice "Is she going to work?"

"No. She asked for leave of absence," Olivia answered knowing Nick wasn't the one to let things slide by when it was about Casey. He was tough on her because he loved and cared so much about her.

Nick shook his head and took the keys from Olivia's hands. "You have been letting her stay home?"

"I can't force her Nick. She's really hurting" Olivia followed him inside.

Nick went straight to his room and found his little sister lying in bed with the blanket on her. She was staring blankly at the ceiling as tears rolled down her face.

Olivia leaned down on the doorway and watched Nick sit by her.

"Hey you. I'm home," He whispered as he wiped her tears away "Casey why are you letting him do this to you?"

Casey looked over at her big brother and then turned to the side. "Leave me alone. You weren't here when it mattered"

Nick looked at Olivia and then back at Casey "I'm sorry. I'm here now. You can't be this depressed. He was a jerk anyway"

Casey turned to look at him and started to hit him "Don't call him that! I hate you get away!"

He grabbed her wrists and pinned them down on the pillow "You want to be weak? Now you're weak" He purposefully provoked. "You want to throw your life away? Go ahead counselor Novak." He pressed her wrists more as she struggled through tears "What's wrong? Can't fight me now?"

"Nick c'mon" Olivia spoke up.

"No. She has to learn she isn't weak." Nick shook his head. "I want you dressed in clean clothes in two minutes or I'm carrying your ass in the shower. Understood?"

Casey just nodded. He let go of her wrists and went out of the room.

Olivia closed the door behind him and sat down by Casey. "C'mon honey" She took her in hug as Casey cried. "He loves you that's why he is mean"

"I hate him," Casey whispered as she cried on Olivia's shoulder. "He sucks"

Olivia stroked her hair "C'mon get dressed"

"No" She whispered and went back to bed. She wrapped the blanket around her and started to cry.

"One minute Casey!" They heard Nick yell from the kitchen.

Olivia looked at Casey as she kept crying. "You know he is crazy enough to do it"

"I don't care" Casey said softly through sniffles.

Olivia said nothing and rubbed her shoulder. A couple of seconds later the door to the room slowly opened. "Are you undressed? I don't want to see anything of my sisters."

Olivia smiled but Casey kept crying.

Nick came in and saw she was still in bed. He shook his head and lightly tapped Casey on the shoulder to get her mad. "Get up" He tapped her again. "Up and about soldier" He tapped her on the head this time to annoy her.

Casey slapped his hand "Leave me alone"

"You want all of us to give up huh? You like all this attention we're giving you?" He took the blanket off her.

"No! I want you to go away Nicholas" Casey barked at him.

Nick smiled at Olivia "She knows I'm a horrible listener and yet she tries. Looks like that bastard didn't kill all of my Casey" He provoked.

Casey turned around angrily and swung at him. He grabbed her wrist and pushed her back on the bed. "Leave me alone you ass!"

"Fight me Casey!" He yelled back with a small smirk "C'mon get your anger out"

Olivia got off the bed knowing Nick would wrestle with her how crazy he was. She didn't want to be anywhere near this sibling rivalry.

Casey grabbed her blanket and wrapped it around herself "No. I just want to be alone"

"You have been alone for a month Casey Novak. I'm back and I'm not Olivia to let you do what you want" He took the blanket off her again and threw it on the ground. "You want your blanket? You're going to have to get your ass up and get it."

Casey grabbed the pillow and put it over her head being extremely annoyed by her big brother.

Nick took a deep breath "Bad idea shorty" He grabbed the pillow and hit her over the head to piss her off. He threw the pillow on the ground and then the other one "You have to get up or I swear to god I'm going to put you under cold water."

Casey said nothing and curled into a ball "Just leave me alone Nick. You don't know what it's like when your husband leaves you for another woman and then kicks you out of your own house"

"Another woman?" Nick asked in a louder voice. He pulled his gun out of his ankle holster "I'm going to kill him." He got off the bed but Olivia quickly stopped him.

"No." She whispered with a shake of the head. She pointed to Casey "She needs you"

Nick nodded. "Fine." He put his gun back and walked back to Casey. "You're going to help me get this son of a bitch back." He lifted Casey up and placed her on his shoulder. "After your shower."

"Let go!" Casey yelled as she hit his back.

Olivia moved out of Nick's way knowing it was for Casey's best interest. She followed Nick into the bathroom.

Casey kept pounding on her brother's back but he wasn't giving in. He opened his shower door and put Casey down. He turned on the water and took his shirt off.

Olivia's eyes got wide seeing all of his muscles and a tattoo on his shoulder and another one under his neck where his back arched. She quickly looked away from his tan body.

He picked Casey up again and stepped into the shower with her in his jeans. He let out a deep breath from the cold water and put Casey's face under it for a second. She tried to go out but he wrapped his arms around her and held her there.

"You want to drown?" He yelled over the water. "You give up and Chad is the one drowning you. You want him cozy with his new girl in his big ass Mercedes and let him get away with murder?" Casey said nothing. "Do you?" He yelled as he brushed her hair away from her face.

"No" She finally answered.

"Do you want him to pay for what he did? Cause right now you're the only one serving jail time for no reason." He finally turned off the water and took her in a hug "You did nothing wrong." He whispered. "You're innocent and he is guilty Casey" He held her closer to warm her up. "Take a comfortable shower and get dressed." He let her go and stepped out. He put a towel around his neck and grabbed his shirt from the floor and left the bathroom.

Casey finally wiped her eyes and looked at Olivia. "Doesn't this make you glad you're an only child?"

Olivia smiled a little "I'll get you some clothes"

Casey nodded and took her wet shirt off and stood there in her bra.

Olivia went back to the bedroom and opened the door. She totally forgot that was Nick's room and his clothes were there.

"Christ!" He jumped and quickly put the towel over him "Don't you knock?"

Olivia quickly closed her eyes seeing he was naked and changing into dry clothes. "I'm sorry. I forgot. I was just getting Casey some clothes"

"You can open your eyes. I'm covered" he smiled a little and kept the towel around his waist.

Olivia nodded and opened her eyes. She quickly looked down at the floor not to look at his upper body. She got Casey dry clothes and quickly went out of the room.

Nick changed into dry jeans and a t-shirt. He went to the living room and sat on the couch.

Olivia came out of the bathroom and sat down by Nick. "I'm sorry about earlier" She spoke up quietly.

Nick looked over at her "Ouch. Way to hurt a guy's ego. May I remind you I was in a cold shower two seconds before"

Olivia laughed and slapped him on the arm "I wasn't talking about it…or that…or you!"

"Wow. You're a horrible liar." Nick shook his head and let out a chuckle "You were so looking at my equipment and you know it"

"No I wasn't!" Olivia defended. "You know what? Shut up" She crossed her arms on her chest and leaned back on the couch. "One of these days I'm going to make fun of you all day just to hurt your feelings."

"Aw I hurt your feelings? I'm sorry" He pouted a little and wrapped his arms around her shoulders and hugged her "Let's hug it out."

Olivia smiled a little and wasn't sure if she should hug back. She didn't want to feel him up since she was attracted to his muscular body but she didn't want to miss out on the fact to touch his body. She slowly hugged him and tried not to feel his muscles under his shirt but it wasn't working.

"See. Feel better right?" He let go of her slowly but kept his arm around her shoulders. "Now tell me exactly what happened between bastard Chad and Casey?"

"He asked for a divorce and kicked her out of the house. As Casey was getting her stuff a new woman came in. Basically they had sex in the other room while Casey was still in the house" Olivia answered quietly feeling extremely bad.

"I hated that guy from the start" He rolled his eyes and took a deep breath. "You working tomorrow?"

"No. I'm off" Olivia answered.

"Want to hang out here tonight and go with me to Casey's house tomorrow for some…" He thought for a second "Divorce settlements?"

Olivia smiled a little and wanted to get Chad back just as much as Nick. "Sure"

He smiled a little and nodded. Casey finally came out of the bathroom after her shower and lazily walked to them. She sat down next to Nick and just hugged him.

"Let's watch a movie," Olivia offered. Nick nodded and just held his little sister.

Later that night Casey fell asleep in Nick's arms. He left her on the couch and covered her.

He went into his room and Olivia was already asleep on the bed. He grabbed a blanket and pillow and got on the floor to sleep there not wanting to bother either girl.

"Hey" Olivia whispered. "Don't sleep there"

He looked up at her "It's fine. Don't worry I'm used to it. Goodnight"

"C'mon we're both adults" Olivia moved and made room for him. "I don't bite"

He smiled a little and got off the floor. He laid down by her and put the blanket over him "Thanks"

"It's your house. I should be thanking you" Olivia whispered with a smile "How's Casey doing?"

"Sleeping. No alcohol or pain relievers required," He whispered with a chuckle. "Thanks for helping me out tonight Olivia"

"You're welcome. Though you did most of the work. If you ever threw me in a shower I would kick your ass" She whispered with a smirk on her lips.

"Well with you I'm thinking you would come into a shower with me voluntarily" he whispered as he played with the edges of the pillow.

Olivia started to blush insanely. "Well…um"

"It's not a question detective Benson." He smiled up at her a little. "Goodnight" he winked and turned to the other side.

Olivia took a deep breath and turned to her side.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Olivia woke up to an empty bed and could hear noise down in the basement. She quickly got up in case Nick was picking on Casey again. She went down the stairs and stopped seeing Nick holding his punching bag and Casey standing there with gloves on.

"Hit it Casey" He ordered.

"No"

He pushed her in the shoulder to piss her off "C'mon. Imagine Chad with another woman"

"Stop Nick"

"Hit the damn bag. It'll make you feel better"

"I'm not you Nick. I don't beat things up when I'm mad" She rolled her eyes.

He pushed the leather bag to her so it hit her "You going to take that?"

"Knock it off you dweeb"

He hit her on the side of the head "C'mon! You're not depressed when you're mad. You take your anger out Casey. I know you!"

Casey took a deep breath and punched him straight in the face "When I say leave me alone I mean it!"

Olivia's mouth dropped as Nick held his noise.

He wiped his noise and smiled "About damn time. C'mon lets go visit your house" He took the gloves off her hands and kissed her on the forehead.

Olivia said nothing as Casey walked past her. Nick leaned on the wall by Olivia and watched Casey go up the stairs "You saw that?"

"When your sister beat you up? Yes" Olivia answered with a wink and went up the stairs.

Nick couldn't resist but to check her butt out as she went up the stairs. He grinned and followed.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

All three stood in front of the huge mansion that used to be Casey's house.

"I don't want to do this" Casey spoke up looking at her two best friends by her side.

"Hey half of what's in here is yours. I think that plasma screen is yours." Nick smiled and unlocked the door. "I got my gun don't worry"

Casey didn't move. Olivia stepped in first to make her friend more comfortable. Nick took her hand and led her in.

"Fucker!" Nick yelled out into the huge hallway. Both of the girls jumped "His Mercedes isn't here. He isn't home" He smiled a little and ran up the stairs "I get his Rolex!" He called down.

Casey wrapped her arms around herself "I don't feel right about this"

Olivia put her arm around her shoulders "This is your house. Your property"

Casey nodded a little "Ok"

Olivia led her up the stairs "C'mon let's make sure Nick doesn't get hurt with all those expensive things"

They went into Chad's room and spotted Nick jumping on the King sized bed. "I'm trying to break it," He explained. "He doesn't deserve sex"

Casey shook her head and Olivia tried to control her laughter.

He jumped off the bed and opened the closet "Eww he dresses horribly too. Casey you're better off without him" He pulled out designer shirts and shoes and threw them on the ground.

"Nick c'mon don't do this" Casey complained "I don't want to bail you out of jail."

Nick nodded and went down the line of shirts "You bought this for him for Christmas right?"

"Yea. So?"

Nick pulled it out and ripped it "You bought it. It's your property. You wont sue me right?" He smiled and began to thrash the whole room.

Casey shook her head and went out. Olivia followed her.

They went down to the room that used to be Casey's closet. She stopped and just looked at the room. "All my stuff is gone," She whispered.

Olivia looked at the somewhat slutty clothes and knew none of that was Casey's. It was Chad's new girlfriend's clothes. Olivia took a deep breath not sure why she did but she had to. She grabbed one the shirts and ripped it.

Casey looked over at her.

Olivia just shrugged "The real shirt doesn't even look like a shirt. It looks like half a shirt."

Casey just smiled a little and looked at the designer dress "Wow. Expensive" She nodded a little and ripped it.

"That's the spirit" Olivia smiled and they began thrashing that room.

After a while Casey left and went to the living room to find her jewelry. Olivia and Nick were sitting in Casey's old closet looking at the mess they all caused.

"Now this is what I call adrenaline rush" Olivia smiled a little. "Better then sex"

He quickly looked over at her "What? What do you mean better then sex?"

"More fun" Olivia shrugged.

"That's because you never had sex with me" He smiled a little and moved closer to her.

Olivia blushed again. "Back to flirting huh Nicholas Ethan Novak?"

He smiled a little and shrugged "You never asked me out"

"I'm supposed to ask you out?" She placed her hand on her chest as in shock.

"Yes I will go out with you. Thanks for asking" He grinned at her.

Olivia chuckled and playfully pushed him. "You're sister is right. You are a dweeb"

"That you have a date with. Um…tonight at nine?" he asked holding his hand out.

Olivia shook his hand "You got it"

He smiled and gently took her face in her hands and pulled her closer. Olivia leaned in a little bit and met his lips with hers. They kissed gently and slowly.

All of a sudden they heard noise downstairs. Both quickly broke the kiss realizing Chad was back and Casey was downstairs alone. They got to their feet and ran down the stairs as fast as possible to get to Casey before Chad tried to hurt her.

A/N: Oh cliffy! I know! The more reviews I get the faster I update! This is a short story. Possible two or three chapters depending on my mood. Please leave reviews!!


	2. Not again

Casey looked through a box of jewelry in Chad's office. She opened another box under it and found a load of cash in it. She let out a deep breath and picked one deck of bills up. She flipped through it and all were one hundred dollar bills.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

She jumped to Chad's voice. She looked up and he was standing there with his new girlfriend behind him. "Chad…I"

"Stealing my money now?" He yelled as he moved toward her.

Casey stepped back being afraid of him.

* * *

Nick and Olivia ran down the hall and into the office where the yelling was coming from.

Chad had his hand up and was about to hit Casey. Nick jumped on his back and pulled him down. He punched him and stood in front of Casey "Don't even think about it"

Chad wiped his noise and got off the floor.

Olivia gave the new woman a mean look and then turned her attention back to her friends.

"Stupid whore" Chad mumbled looking at Casey.

Nick punched him in the face "Try that again"

Chad wiped his nose and swung at Nick. Nick duct and hit him in the ribs. Chad fell down and wrapped his arms around his stomach.

Nick took all the money from Casey's hand and walked out. He went to the master bathroom across the hall and flushed all the money down the toilet. "Happy now Chad?" He yelled out as he walked back to him and kneeled down. "I hope your whore is better you stupid son of a bitch"

"You're going to let him talk to me that way?" The woman yelled at Chad.

"Stay out of this Tiffany" Chad let out a groan.

"Sweetheart he will dump you after he abuses you a little more. Hope you get enough money" Nick smiled and got up. "Psst Chad" He whispered "I own you for the rest of your miserable life" He kicked him in the ribs and took Casey's hand. "We're gone" He led Casey out of the room.

Tiffany smiled a little at Casey. Before Casey could stop herself she slapped her across the face. Tiffany swung at Casey but Olivia grabbed her arm.

"Go Casey" Olivia instructed as she kept staring at Tiffany. Casey said nothing and walked out.

Nick pulled his gun out "Now we are going to walk out and never hear from you again. Is that understood?" He asked pointing his gun at Chad on the ground. Chad nodded as he let some coughs out. "Good" He took Olivia's hand and led her out.

* * *

All three kept quiet as they sat in the car. Olivia was driving and Nick was by her. Casey sat in the back and kept looking out the window.

Nick finally turned around and looked at her "You ok kid?"

Casey slightly nodded as she kept looking out the window "Never felt better"

"Liar" He mumbled and turned around. He looked at Olivia "You ok?"

"Fine" She answered "Anyone hungry?"

"For food?" Nick asked.

Casey hit him upside the head "Ass" Olivia just smiled a little and Nick shrugged.

"Baseball and pizza anyone?" Nick asked looking at the girls "I feel like hitting some balls"

Olivia smirked a little in his direction "Can we use yours Nicholas?"

"Eww" Casey said disgustedly "Don't flirt like that in front of me"

"Sorry honey" Olivia smiled a little and shrugged.

Nick leaned in by Olivia "I bet Chad had no balls like me" He whispered with a smile.

"Eww!" Casey yelled from the back seat.

"Stop listening!" Nick yelled back "I whispered it"

"No more flirting in front of me," Casey ordered.

"Fine" Nick leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms on his chest.

"Fine" Casey crossed her arms on her chest.

Olivia tried to hold her giggles "Fine" Both siblings looked at her "I didn't want to feel left out" She explained.

* * *

Casey sat at a picnic table eating her pizza as she watched her best friend and older brother on the field flirting and sort of playing baseball.

Olivia kept playfully trying to hit him in the crotch with the bat and he was trying to show her how to swing the bat. Casey smiled a little and took a bite of her pizza.

He wrapped his arms around Olivia from the back "Get a tight grip"

Olivia giggled a little "Can't even wait for our date huh Mr. Novak?"

Nick smirked and started to blush "Shut up and listen to me"

"That reminded me of Casey."

Nick moved away "That's it. Learn baseball by yourself"

Olivia grabbed his arm "Ok I'm done. C'mon no more jokes"

"No more aiming the bat at me?"

Olivia shrugged innocently "I can't give everything up Nicky"

Nick took a deep breath and shook his head "You're lucky you're my friend"

"You're lucky I let you be my friend"

"That I am" He smiled and wrapped his arms around her from the back. He gripped the baseball bat over her hands "Firm grip. Don't giggle"

Olivia rolled her eyes. "Party Pooper"

He ignored her small, cute comment "Lift your elbow up"

"Should I stick my ass out as well Nicholas?" Olivia teased with a smirk.

"It does help when hitting the ball" He smirked a little "I swear" He tried to hold his breath as he felt her press her body more to his.

"Like that?" Olivia whispered flirtatiously

"Yea. Like that" He whispered back as he rested his chin on her shoulder "Now you swing" He slowly swung the bat with her. "Not so hard right?"

This caused a huge laugh from Olivia. Nick just shook his head at her. "I'm sorry" She tried to stop her laughing since she was very hyper for some reason, "You should have heard it the way I heard it Nick, I'm sorry"

Nick smiled a little "I'm going to get you something to drink so you can keep your mouth shut" He teased with a wink and walked down the field. He went over to Casey who was playing with her straw. "Hey shorty"

Casey waved back a little "Hi"

He sat down by her "What's wrong?"

She just shrugged "I feel alone"

"Oh. Do you want me to call Olivia-"

"No. Not alone like that. I mean…never mind" She shook her head and picked the pepperoni off her pizza since it reminded her of Chad since he liked pepperoni.

"You mean…" He thought for a second "Like…sexual male company?"

Casey smiled a little and nodded "If you must know, yes"

He nodded "Oh. I didn't need to know" He shook his head "You want to go home?"

"No it's fine, you two are still picking on each other," Casey answered with a smile "I'm having fun with my pizza anyway"

"Why don't you join us? Olivia needs a distraction from me anyway. She's very hyper. She giggles at everything I say," Nick answered with a smile as he placed a hand on his sister's back. "C'mon you like baseball"

Casey shrugged "I don't know"

He took her hand and pulled her up "C'mon" He led her up the field to Olivia "I'm getting ice cream or soda. What do you want?"

"Ice cream" Olivia quickly answered.

"No. You have enough sugar" Nick answered with a smirk "What kind of soda do you want Olivia?"

"Chocolate soda" Olivia teased in giggles.

"Sprite it is" He smiled and went down the field since he knew what kind of soda Casey drank.

Casey smiled a little at Olivia "You're really weird today"

"It's not my fault. Nick has that affect on me" She shrugged and swung her bat in the air. "Imagine if Elliot saw me with a bat in my hyper moments. He would run"

"I think you're scaring my brother and he came back from a war"

"Aw thanks sweetie" Olivia rolled her eyes "Hey you don't have a problem with us going out do you?"

"You two act like a couple anyway. A weird, giggly couple but still. What are you going to ask him out?"

"Well we have a date tonight" Olivia answered with a shrug "I just don't want you to feel weird"

"Trust me, you going out doesn't scare me. You and him flirting in a sexual way does" Casey nodded a little at her "Just don't make out or say sexual things around me and we're fine"

Olivia smiled and nodded "Deal"

* * *

Casey was lying on the couch and lazily flipping channels on the TV. Nick came out of his room wearing faded blue jeans, a dress shirt and his leather jacket. "How do I look?"

Casey looked over at him "Since when do you ask me?"

"Since I have a date with your best friend" He answered, "Do I look sexy?"

"From Casey point of view, no." She answered with a smirk "From Olivia's point of view, yes"

"If you were Olivia would you kiss me?"

Casey threw a pillow at him "I refuse to answer that"

"Fine. Don't help me get laid. See if I care" He shrugged and sat down on the couch to tie his shoes. "Why don't you go out tonight?"

"I got nowhere to go," She answered with a shrug.

"Just because Chad isn't around doesn't mean you can't go to clubs or something. Call Melinda or some chick and go out" He encouraged her "You can't just sit here you know? You need male company like you said"

"I would go with Olivia but you are going out with her tonight" Casey smiled a little as she kept watching TV.

"Don't make me feel guilty about my date with her" He got up and put cologne on. "I don't come around nice girls that often"

"Oh I know" Casey nodded. "You hurt Olivia and I will kill you. I know you are my brother but Olivia is more cool then you"

He rolled his eyes and fixed his leather jacket "I won't hurt her." he shrugged a little and sat down by her "I actually kind of like her"

"Eww mushy Nick Novak. Get away" Casey teased.

"Fine. I have to pick her up anyway" He gave her a kiss on the cheek as he got off the couch "Go out and have fun ok?"

"I'll think about it"

He nodded "Don't wait up for me" He smiled and left the house.

* * *

Olivia and Nick walked down the sidewalk after their date. Olivia had her arm wrapped around his.

"I like this jacket" She smiled a little as she got closer to him.

"You should. You were with me when I bought it" He moved closer and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "Did you move or something? I feel like I have been walking you to your apartment for a decade"

Olivia looked around "Oh god we passed it"

He pointed across the street "Right?"

She turned around and spotted her building "Ok. We didn't pass it" She walked across the street and he followed "Um…you want to come in?" She asked as she played with her keys in front of the building.

He stepped closer to her "Do you want me to come in?"

"I want you to come in only if you want to come in," She countered.

"Ok you lost me" he threw his hands in the air "Yes, I would love to come in"

Olivia nodded a little and unlocked her building. She led him up the stairs to her door. "I want to give you a tour but you have been in here already a lot of times."

"I haven't seen it for a long time. Maybe you switched furniture" He shrugged "Give me a tour"

Olivia smiled and unlocked the door. She flipped the light switch and threw her keys on the table.

"Yea, you didn't change a thing," he teased.

"Well kind of hard being at work all the time and taking care of Casey"

"I appreciate you doing that" He stepped next to her "How can I pay you back for that?"

She looked over at him. She smiled a little "I don't know"

"I think we can think of something," He whispered as he took her face in her hands and kissed her.

Olivia broke the kiss "I want you to respect me"

"I do respect you"

She nodded "Ok" She started to kiss him now and pulled his jacket off as they stumbled to her room.

Nick pulled her shirt over her head and threw her on the bed. He smirked and sat down on top of her. He glanced over at the nightstand for a second and spotted a picture of Casey and Olivia together. He quickly flipped the photo so he couldn't see it.

Olivia smiled a little and pulled him down to kiss him. She unbuckled his belt and then started to unbutton his shirt. "You smell good I tell you that?" She whispered.

He slid down and kneeled by the bed as he unbuckled her jeans "No you didn't but thanks" He gently slid them off and kissed her legs. He gently moved up her body.

Olivia pulled his shirt off and let it drop to the floor. They gently met each other's lips again and started to kiss.

* * *

Olivia woke up with the sun in her eyes. She turned around and cuddled next to Nick who was awake and staring at the ceiling. "Morning" She whispered with a smile.

He looked over realizing she was awake even if her eyes were still closed. "Morning" He gave her a gentle kiss on the forehead.

"I like you army men. You don't just leave in the morning," She whispered as she opened her eyes and looked up at him "Hi there Nicholas"

He smiled a little finding it cute how she always found different forms of his name to call him. "Hi there Olivia."

She smirked a little and pulled the blankets over them more. Olivia was only wearing his dress shirt and panties and he only had his boxers on. "Last night was amazing"

"Agreed" he gave her a kiss and turned toward her nightstand for his cell phone. Olivia traced the tattoo he had on his back as he checked his phone calls and messages. He smiled a little and flipped on his stomach as she kept touching his tattoo.

She lightly kissed his back where it arched under his neck since his tattoo was there. He listened to all his messages and finally closed his phone. His smile was gone. Olivia noticed it and rested her chin on his shoulder "What's wrong?" She whispered.

He put his phone down on the nightstand "I have to go" he said quietly as he took the blanket off him. Olivia moved away as he got off the bed.

"C'mon stay for breakfast," She offered.

"No Olivia" He pulled his jeans up "I have to go out of the country. I'm being deployed" he got off the bed and zipped his jeans up. He took his watch and pulled it on "I'm sorry"

Olivia nodded a little "Ok" She whispered. She wasn't sure what to say at that moment. She wanted him to stay for Casey and her. Her? Since when did Olivia Benson need a man? She quickly shook the thought out of her head. "When do you have to leave?"

"Tomorrow morning" He answered as he pulled his tank top on. He put his belt on and buckled it "I…I don't want to tell Casey. It'll break her"

Olivia nodded "I know. You have to though"

He nodded and grabbed his leather jacket "Keep my shirt. You look good in it" He smiled and gave her a kiss "See you later?"

"I hope so" She smirked and returned the kiss "Stop by the precinct, I'm pretty sure the guys will want to see you before you leave again"

"I will if Casey doesn't kill me before the afternoon" He pulled his leather jacket on and gave her another kiss "Bye" he turned around and left her apartment.

* * *

Nick walked into his house quietly not to wake up his baby sister. He went to his room and she was still sleeping. She was in her sweats and boxes of cookies were on his nightstand.

He took his jacket off and threw it on the other side of his bed where Casey wasn't spread out. He cleaned the nightstand from the mess she made and started to clean his room from all her clothes that were thrown everywhere because of her depression.

Casey shifted a little and lay on his jacket. It smelled just like him from his nice cologne he wore all the time. She opened her eyes and saw him looking through a photo album that was on the floor in the corner "What are you doing?"

He looked over at her realizing she was awake "Looking at your past" He answered as he looked down at the pictures of her and Chad "I'm burning these"

"No, you're not"

"Oh yes I am" He answered as he flipped the page of the photo album "You're depressed looking at these"

"They are my pictures" She quickly got up to get the album but he lifted it over his head since he was taller then her by a good number of inches. "Nick"

"Casey" He mocked.

"Give me the pictures," She ordered.

"Get taller" he provoked with a smirk "Why do you need these pictures?"

"Because I married him. He is part of my life"

"Was part of your life" Nick corrected, "You don't need him"

Casey jumped to get the pictures but Nick wrapped his arm around her from the back and she couldn't move since he was stronger. "Let go" She ordered angrily "Shouldn't you be at Olivia's?"

"Been there. Done that" he teased to get her mad and took off running. Casey chased right after him. Nick ran down to his basement and stood behind the pool table. "Get away Casey Ashley Novak"

"Give me the pictures Nicholas Ethan Novak," She ordered as she grabbed the pool stick "I will hit you"

"HA!" he yelled in amusement "I'm in the army you brat I get in fights with pool sticks regularly"

"Don't call me a brat"

"Brat" He provoked "Want your pictures shorty?"

"Yes. Give me" She moved toward him. He moved back. "Give"

"No. Fight for them" He teased with a smile. "You still have fight in you. The way you should have hit him today but didn't"

"I had you there Nick"

"I'm not always going to be around to beat up the guys that mess with you heart"

She made an attempt to retrieve the pictures. He quickly shoved the pictures in his pants. "Jerk!" She yelled angrily.

He laughed a little "Still want them?"

She grabbed the end of the pool stick and hit him in the crotch. He fell to the ground in pain "Still have them?" She smiled proudly and walked away.

Nick groaned "Deployed"

Casey stopped at the stairs and turned to look at him "What?"

He slowly got off the floor and took the pictures out of his pants. "I'm being deployed tomorrow morning. I'm sorry."

Casey just looked at him as tears filled her eyes. "I hate you" She whispered and went up the stairs angrily.

A/N: Please leave reviews!! Thanks for reading! One more chapter coming up!


	3. My Heart is the worst kind of weapon

Casey just sat at the kitchen table watching Nick make breakfast.

He glanced over at her "What do you want to eat?"

"Nothing" She answered with a shrug.

"You have to eat"

"I'm not hungry."

"Case I will make you eat, either tell me what you want or I'm making you eat healthy stuff that you don't want."

"Cereal" She answered.

"Want to settle for pancakes?" He smirked at her.

"Making me food isn't going to change that you are leaving me again."

"Casey I'm not leaving you. I have a job" he rolled his eyes as he poured her orange juice. "C'mon don't be like this"

"Dad always left and you hated that. Now you're being like him," She snapped.

"That was different. I don't have kids or a wife."

"You have me!"

He got quiet and said nothing as he kept making breakfast.

Casey pulled her legs up and pressed them to her chest. She rested her chin on her knees and kept quiet.

Nick finally made her breakfast and put the plate in front of her. He playfully put her coffee cup by her face "I got coffee" Casey smirked a little but didn't look at him. He kissed her on the head. "C'mon don't be mad."

She rolled her eyes and took the coffee. She put her legs down and started to eat her breakfast her brother made her.

Nick sat down by her and played with his watch nervously. "Can I ask you something?" She nodded. "Um…is the food good?'

She looked up at him sensing his nervousness. "That's not what you had in mind but yes it's good."

He ran a hand through his buzz cut hair "Um…what if I ask Olivia to marry me?"

Casey started to choke over her food "Excuse me?"

"I'm really falling for her" He shrugged a little "It's weird. I'm really starting to be in love with her."

"Then you buy her something you don't pop the question after one date Nick"

"But I love her"

Casey put her fork down. "Nick honey, Olivia isn't a girl you move this fast with. Her longest relationship with man is Elliot. She doesn't trust you that much after one date."

Nick took a deep breath and just shrugged. "Ok"

"I love you with all my heart but if you want Olivia you have to step lightly. If you told her you loved her this fast you would just scare her off."

He rested his head on the table. "Her whole mom issue?"

"Yea" Casey nodded and patted him on the back. "Plus popping the question right before leaving the country is such a horrible idea"

"But Casey we have been friends forever. We flirt with each other every time we see one another."

"That doesn't mean anything. She has been friends with Elliot forever and she flirts with him all the time"

He rolled his eyes. "Well she didn't sleep with Elliot…at least I don't think she did."

"Eww don't tell me these things" Casey said disgustedly and started to eat her breakfast again.

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Olivia wrote her report at her desk. She was swamped in paper work all day. Elliot was on another case in Brooklyn and John and Fin had their own case.

She felt someone sit across her. She looked up and spotted Nick sitting in Elliot's seat. "Hey" She smiled a little.

"Hi. Where is everyone?" He asked with a smirk.

"Working." Olivia answered, "What are you doing here?"

"Dropped Casey off at work. I finally got her to go back to work." He said proudly. "I came here in hope you had time to go to lunch with me."

"Oh" Olivia looked around her table at all the mess from her paperwork. "Not sure."

He smiled pleadingly and held up a red rose from the inside of his jacket "Please?"

"Well I don't know how I can resist" Olivia smirked and closed her file. "Your treat"

"Of course" he got off his seat. He took her jacket and held it for her.

They went out of the squad room and walked down the hall. Nick spotted Casey down the hall talking to someone. She gave her big brother a warning look not to propose or do anything stupid that might ruin what he had going on.

Nick saw the look but placed a hand on Olivia's back and led her onto the elevator.

Casey just shook her head and went to the squad room to get some files.

Cragen came out and noticed his lead detectives were all gone "Where's Benson?"

Casey looked up. "Oh. I think she went to lunch"

"By herself?"

"No. With my brother" Casey answered with a smirk.

"Nick's back?" Casey nodded. Cragen just nodded at the younger woman. "By the way welcome back counselor." He smiled a little at her and went back to his office.

Casey smiled and kept looking for her files.

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Instead of going to a restaurant somehow they ended up in Olivia's room. Both fell over on the bed in complete sweat.

Nick breathed hard and tried to calm down his breathing.

Olivia was also breathing hard and wiped the sweat off her forehead. "Lunch huh?"

He smiled a little "Well I wanted to eat"

Olivia smirked and slapped him on the stomach. She pulled herself up and grabbed her watch from the nightstand. "I have to go"

"Wait" he sat up also and rested on his elbows. "You still have time."

"I got like twenty minutes" Olivia smirked.

"That's enough time." He took the blanket and pulled it over their bodies. He moved on top of her and gently kissed her. "C'mon I'm leaving tomorrow." He whispered as he gently went down to her neck. "I might not see you again"

Olivia wrapped her arms around his body and rested her palms on his upper back. "Don't go"

"You know I have to" He whispered, "Please don't make this harder then it is"

Olivia nodded and pulled him closer. "Ok" She gently met her lips with his. They slowly started to kiss each other.

Olivia wrapped her legs around his waist "Faster this time cause I have work"

He smiled a little and nodded. "You got it." He gently pushed inside of her.

Olivia let out a small moan and pressed her body to his. She slowly gyrated her hips against him as he moved inside of her. He held on hand on her back to support her and the other hand was on the headboard as he moved faster.

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Olivia walked into the squad room and only Casey was there looking through some files "Hey."

Casey looked up and quickly noticed a hickey on Olivia's neck "Compliments of my brother?"

"What?" Olivia asked confused. Casey pointed to her neck. Olivia opened her locker and looked in the mirror. "Oh no" She pulled her shirt collar over it.

Casey opened her purse and threw some cover-up at her. Olivia caught it and quickly went to the bathroom.

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Casey slept on the couch at Nick's house and he slept in his bedroom. His uniform was hanging from the closet and all his bags were packed.

Casey twitched a little hearing a sound.

Chad broke the lock on Nick's house and slowly came in. He spotted his wife on the couch. He walked over to her and placed a hand over her mouth.

Casey's eyes flew open and stared up in fear at her husband she was separated from. She tried to scream but his grip around her mouth got tighter. "Hi baby" he smiled down at her. "Think you could come into my house and embarrass me like that?" He kept on hand over her mouth and started to choke her with the other. "I'm going to teach you a lesson for disrespecting me."

Casey started squirming around not being able to breath. She started to hit him but he didn't move.

Nick groaned hearing noise in the next room "Casey turn the TV off" He mumbled sleepily. He rolled his eyes and dragged himself out of bed. He came to his doorway and spotted Chad choking his little sister.

He grabbed his baseball bat from his room and walked over calmly. He whistled. Chad looked up. "Strike one" He punched him with the baseball bat over his back and pushed him away from Casey.

Chad fell on the floor and lay there holding his ribs.

Nick grabbed Casey's hand and pulled her up "Get out of here"

Casey rubbed her neck and looked at her big brother "He probably has a gun"

Nick nodded and walked over to Chad "C'mon boy" he grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him up. He threw him against the plasma screen. "C'mon! Get up you pussy!" Chad wiped his nose that was bleeding. He pulled a gun out of his blazer pocket. Nick swung the bat at his hand and sent the gun flying to the side. "Strike two bitch!"

Casey just looked in fear knowing her brother was going to kill him "Nick you can't do this"

"Get out" Nick ordered. Casey just kept looking at him. "Out!"

Casey grabbed her jacket and shoes. She grabbed her car keys and went out of the house. She knew her brother was just trying to save her from what he was about to do. He didn't want her involved in any way.

Chad held his hand and started to move away from Nick. Nick was only in white boxers and still holding his baseball bat. "You come into my house!" He smashed the table by Chad's head. Chad covered his head from the glass. "You try to kill my baby sister!"

Chad just looked up at him. Nick had tattoos and ribbed muscles "You're going to go to jail."

"No mother fucker" Nick hit his leg with the bat. Chad let out a scream. "You entered my house" He slammed his own head into a window "You hit me."

"Fuck you"

"Fuck me?" Nick grabbed him by the neck and pulled him up. "Fuck you!" He slammed him against the door. Blood ran down on the side of Nick's face. "You like getting fucked you little bitch?"

Chad just gurgled as his feet got lifted off the floor.

"Huh mother fucker?" Nick threw him on the floor and kicked him in the ribs. "You want to fuck a little bitch as you throw my sister out?"

"Fuck you Nick. I will have you arrested" Chad let out a groan. "I'm going to kill you!" he grabbed the gun from the floor and pointed it at him.

Nick grabbed the gun and pulled it out of his hands "You want to kill me you little cunt? You do it like a man."

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Olivia flipped over hearing her phone. She grabbed it sleepily. "Benson"

"It's Elliot. Shots reported at Nick Novak's house"

She quickly jumped up. "What?"

"Casey showed up when I got the call. She's fine but said Chad and Nick are left over there. Meet me there."

Olivia hung the phone up and quickly jumped out of bed. She got dressed and got her gun and badge.

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Elliot parked his car in front of Nick's house. Olivia showed up two minutes later. There were two cop cars already there.

"What happened?" Olivia asked the two uniforms.

"We circled the house and there is two bullet holes in the windows and one window is broken" The cop answered who was behind the car door.

"Nick!" Elliot yelled as he held his gun toward the house "Come out man!"

Olivia gulped and held her gun up also. Nick wasn't violent except when it concerned Casey.

"Olivia?" They heard Nick yell out.

"Yea I'm here!" Olivia yelled back.

"Do you love me?"

Olivia took a deep breath not sure what to do. She had to be honest. "Yea"

"I love you too baby. I've always loved you and always will."

The front door opened and Nick slowly came out with his baseball. The bat was bloody and Nick had a black eye and blood running down his face. His boxers had bloodstains of blood on them.

"Drop your weapon!" The uniform yelled at him.

Nick tossed the bat to the side. "Take care of Casey will you?"

Olivia slowly nodded. "I promise"

"Hands on your head and get on your knees"

Nick placed his hands on his head and dropped down on his knees.

Elliot and the uniform walked over and handcuffed him. Elliot pulled him up.

"Hey El" Nick nodded a little at him "Good to see you again"

Elliot just shook his head and led him to the car.

"You take care of Olivia for me ok?"

Elliot nodded "Yea man."

The uniforms led him into the car and read him his rights.

Elliot walked over to Olivia "You ok?"

Olivia shook her head "He was leaving again in the morning" She turned around and went to her car.

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Nick blinked at the flash going off in his face.

"Turn to the side"

He turned to the side as they took his mug shots.

Casey came over and stood there. "What the hell did you do?"

"I have the right to remain silent" Nick shrugged.

Casey rolled her eyes and showed her ADA badge to the officers. "Can I have a moment please?"

The officers walked away. Nick just looked at her "What? You have a problem? Cause if so lets hear it sis"

"You killed a man," She whispered angrily as she walked over to him. "You beat him with a baseball bat"

"He attacked you" Nick whispered back angrily. "Don't give me that shit. He came into my house and attacked you."

"You beat him to death. You're going to jail"

"It was self-defense. I would give up everything for your good so don't start to preach to me Hilary Clinton."

"Screw you Nicholas"

He took a deep breath "Excuse me ADA Novak. I have arraignment."

Casey shoved jeans and a dress shirt in his arms. "Here. It's better then those sweats they got you wearing."

"Thank you" He walked away down the hall.

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Nick stood in court in front of the judge. He looked over and Casey was sitting behind him.

"Trevor Langan for the defense" Trevor stood by Nick.

"ADA Moreno for the people your honor"

Petrovsky looked up and spotted Nick there. "Mr. Novak. Surprised to see you on that side of the court. What is the defendant being charged with?"

"Manslaughter your honor. He brutally beat a man to death with a baseball bat." Moreno answered.

"How do you plea Mr. Novak?"

Nick glanced at Casey and then the judge "Not guilty your honor."

"The people are asking for remand"

"That's insane. Mr. Novak isn't a flight risk. He is a member of the U.S. Military. He was being deployed this morning to Iraq. He isn't a threat." Langan argued.

"Your honor Mr. Novak owns weapons-"

"He is part of the U.S. Military, he has permits for the weapons found in his house. The victim entered Mr. Novak's house and assaulted his sister, Casey Novak. It was self-defense"

"The victim wasn't armed when Mr. Novak beat his brains out. He killed Mr. Richards because he is Mrs. Novak's husband"

Petrovsky cut in. "That's enough. Bail is being set at five thousand."

Nick let out a small laugh.

"Something amuses you about this Mr. Novak?" Petrovsky asked.

"No your honor. I will enjoy the pleasures of the cell." Nick answered.

"Glad to hear that. Next case"

Nick shook hands with Trevor and turned to look at Casey "Don't even bother wasting your money. I'll be fine" He gave her a kiss on the cheek and let the guard take him away.

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**Two Years later…**

Nick stared at the ceiling of his cell. He was convicted but only got two years because Chad entered his house. He was convicted because Chad was unarmed when Nick killed him.

He was getting out today. He told Casey not to visit him because it was just too hard. He hardly talked to Olivia and when they did he just felt guilty for everything so after a while they just stopped talking.

He heard the buzz and his cell door opened. "Get up princess"

He got off his bed and followed the guard down the hall. They gave him his clothes and let him go to a room to change. He stared at his new appearance after two years. His hair grew and he had a goatee. He had a lot more muscle and Olivia's name tattooed on his left peck in cursive.

He got dressed in jeans and a hoodie. He took a deep breath and went to sign his name out.

He walked down to the gates and spotted Olivia leaning on the hood of her car. He smiled a little and went out as the gate opened. "What are you doing here?"

"To arrest you for that ridiculous hair" Olivia teased and looked up and down at him. He didn't have a buzz cut anymore and looked extremely good.

He walked over to her and just stared into her chocolate eyes. "You want to hug me?"

"Only if you hug first"

He smiled and took her in a hug. He closed his eyes and held her. "I missed you so much"

Olivia hugged him back and rested her head on his shoulder "Me too. Never hugged a convicted man before" She chuckled a little "I love you"

"I love you too" he kissed her on the lips and then hugged her again. "You smell good"

"You look good" She ran her hands up his muscular back. "Real good."

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They lay on his bed making out. Every couple of minutes Nick would stop and look at her being glad he was home.

Olivia pulled his hoodie over his head and kept kissing him. She stopped spotting a new tattoo on his chest. She smiled seeing it was her name. "No way"

"I like your name" He smiled at her. "I love you"

Olivia pressed her lips to his again. She grabbed his arm and pulled him on top of her. He pulled her shirt off and kissed her neck. She worked on his belt as they started to kiss each other again.

His bedroom door opened. "Nick!" Casey yelled out with a grin.

Nick fell off the bed getting startled. "Christ Casey, give me a minute"

"Sorry" His little sister closed the door seeing Olivia was only in her bra and he was shirtless.

Nick pulled himself off the floor and grabbed his t-shirt "I'll be back. Have to see her" He pulled his shirt on and went out of the room.

Casey was sitting in the living room waiting.

"Hey girly" Nick smirked and jumped on the couch next to her.

Casey grinned and hugged him. "I missed you so much"

"You too honey" He gave her a kiss on the cheek "How are you?"

"Good. I'm dating again" She nodded.

He messed with her hair "And you're blonde now?"

"Well thought I change it up a little" She answered with a shrug and then messed with his hair "You need a haircut"

"Well I don't know, Olivia likes it so I might keep it like this." He smiled and hugged her again. "I missed you kiddo" He held her closer. "Breakfast tomorrow? I sort of have to talk to Olivia about things"

"Talk? Yea ok." She gave him a kiss on the cheek. "I'm gone" She gave him one more hug and then went out the house.

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Nick lay awake with his arm around Olivia's waist. She was half asleep and only a blanket around them. The only light that was in the room was coming from the moon outside and the streetlights.

"Olivia?" He whispered softly as he placed a small kiss on her shoulder.

"Mmm?" She breathed out with her eyes closed.

"Marry me?" He whispered softly into her ear.

Olivia opened her eyes and turned to look at him "What?"

"Get married to me," He whispered "Please?"

Olivia sat up in bed "What? Are you serious?"

He sat up next to her. "Yes. While I was in there all I kept thinking of was you." He took her hand and placed it over his heart where his tattoo was. "Marry me Olivia?"

Olivia kept looking at him and then slowly nodded "Yea"

He smirked a little "Yea?"

She smiled and nodded "Yes"

He turned around and pulled out a box from his drawer "I have been wanting to give you this for two years now" He opened it and took the engagement ring out.

"Wow"

He smirked and placed it on her finger. "I love you"

Olivia hugged him and closed her eyes enjoying the embrace of her fiancé "I love you too."

The End

A/N: Thanks for reading! Now lets do me a favor and review! Thanks!


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